Byakuya And The Evil Juicebox by MOasinMOronic
by katzemadchenchan
Summary: Submitting this drabble for a friend under my pen name. If Rukia could clear something as simple as a juicebox...then Byakuya could as well, right?


**MO-as-in-MOronic :** Well I had an idea for a drabble like this for a long time and **Katzemadchenchan** was nice enough to let me use her account for submitting it since I see no use in making a whole new profile for less than a 1000 words. Well I hope it makes you laugh a bit. Umm….what else?...oh yes, review if you want to :)

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'Oh God, Rukia! All you do all day is brag about how you have defeated the juice box and I haven't. I don't care!' Renji yelled, which distracted Byakuya from his all-too-important paperwork yet again.

'I do not brag! It's not my fault that I am a better shinigami than you!' Rukia retorted in a voice just as loud as Renji's.

And so they fought on. Their voices were raised, of course.

Byakuya sighed, exasperated. This 'juice box', whatever strange thing it was, was often the topic of Renji's and Rukia's fights. And it annoyed the Kuchiki to no end that not only did those two immature monkeys constantly disturb him but he also had no idea what the mystical 'juice box' actually was!

'Well that will have to change,' he remarked to himself.

Approximately two hours later Byakuya was in the real world to find this 'juice box'. He'd be damned if he had to listen to another fight of his lieutenant and sister completely ignorant of what they were shouting about! He would also have to be quick about it. The real world was very strange, with people walking by him without another glance when in Sereitei all the females wanted him and all the males wanted to be him. Except that Kenpachi though, he sure was a strange one.

Of course he had been able to discern that it was available at a 'Convenience Store'. Whatever that was. He took no more than five steps that he saw before him a small building with a neon sign lighting up the words 'Fred's Convenience store'. Now wasn't that convenient? Get it? Convenient…convenience sto- never mind.

Coming back to the story, Byakuya walked into the 'store' and looked around. He saw an old woman next to him and asked her where the 'juice box' was. He couldn't help but add a little pride to his voice, since he was finally about to 'pass' the 'dangerous' (oh Rukia, had told him of how it squirted juice on unsuspecting victims, he was not completely ignorant) juice box. The old lady looked horribly unimpressed though (although she did look like she wanted to jump his bones) and told him it was along the top right corner of the store, where the 'refrigerators' were. Whatever they were.

He followed her directions and found himself looking at colorful little boxes with a small miniature pipe attached to the back. Finally, he had found them! He picked up a box of each color and made his way to the exit. Good thing he had brought a bag ( along with his zanpakutou and rope, in case there were 'obstacles' like the ones that came with all challenges) . However, when he made his way to the exit he was stopped by a measly looking human with acne.

'Sir. SIR! You have to pay?' His voice made Byakuya look a round to make sure a donkey wasn't actually choking to death.

'Pay?' he said coldly, raising an eyebrow. _Intimidate! Intimidate him!_

Ha. It worked. He could see the human start to break under his gaze. 'Umm…well…umm…why don't you just take it and I'll pay.'

Byakuya nodded.

_Later that night_…….

He stared at the five juice boxes on his table. Now what? Picking up one box, he examined it. The miniature pipe looked useless so he threw it away. Now, the box. It looked like a regular sealed box and had-for some strange reason- had a small foil circle on the top. Hmm…He squeezed the box. Nothing. He shook it. Nothing. This was starting to make him feel foolish. He hated feeling foolish.

'SENBONZAKURA!'

He gasped dramatically and flash-stepped away as juice flew everywhere. 'That was close.'

The next box was like a silver bag-like thing, not really a box. Well, he had nothing to do with something that wasn't a juice box so he threw it away.

By the fourth one he had figured out that the pipe went into the foil circle. Now how to put it there? He pressed the tip into the circle. It bent but did not break. He pressed harder. It didn't break. He pressed and wiggled it around. KA-BLOOEY! Deadly juice squirted right into his eye.

'Ahhhh' Byakuya writhed in pain at the stinging in his eye. ' I'm going to die! I'm going to die! Must…call…4th…squad…captain…for…healing!' he choked out. Wait a second. The stinging was gone. He felt fine. He was ALIVE! He looked at the 'evil juice squirter' and narrowed his eyes.

'WHITE LIGHTNING CRASH DOWN!'

The ground shook as the box was blast to microscopic smithereens.

'Uh…nii-sama?' a voice called hesitantly.

Byakuya froze. Quickly masking his expression into one of impassiveness he replied coldly, 'What is it Rukia?'

'Well, I heard a loud noise so I- is that a juice box?' Damn. She had spotted it. Now she would try to teach him how to open it.

'Should I teach you how to open it, nii-sama?' she said with delight in her voice. She grabbed the box the pipe which she claimed was called a 'straw' (stupid name, he thought) and thrust it into the circle. Without a single drop of juice coming out.

'Here you go nii-sama. Just suck through the straw,' she guided. Byakuya took it, unable to control his bottom lip from jutting out just a bit. Rukia went back to her room.

Byakuya glared at the 'Sunny Delight' box.

'Next time I will 'defeat' you. Next time.'

THE END!

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**MO-as-in-MOronic:** REVIEW …..please?


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